“Don’t Talk About Politics”: Why Debates Fail and How Minds Really Change in the 21st Century

A detailed review of “Don’t Talk About Politics: How to Change 21st Century Minds” by Dr. Sarah Stein Lubrano.

In an age of misinformation, ideological polarisation, and rising populism, political discourse often feels like shouting into the void. Dr. Sarah Stein Lubrano’s thought-provoking new book, Don’t Talk About Politics: How to Change 21st Century Minds, challenges one of the most sacred beliefs of democratic societies—that civil debate is the cornerstone of progress. With insights drawn from psychology, neuroscience, and sociology, the book explores why traditional political discussions often fail—and what can actually shift people’s beliefs.

The Premise: Why Political Talk Doesn’t Work

Dr. Lubrano opens with a bold claim: talking about politics doesn’t change minds—and often, it makes people more entrenched in their beliefs. This is not a cynical opinion, but one backed by extensive empirical data. The book deconstructs the failure of political debates, whether on television or in parliament, citing psychological research on cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias. Studies cited indicate that people tend to double down when confronted with information that contradicts their deeply held beliefs.

Social Atrophy and the Rise of the Far Right

One of the most compelling arguments in the book connects the rise of right-wing populism with what Lubrano terms “social atrophy”. This is the psychological and sociological consequence of social isolation, where prolonged detachment from regular, real-life human interactions weakens our cognitive muscles for empathy, cooperation, and trust.

In societies like the U.S. and the U.K., where individuals increasingly live alone, work remotely, and communicate through screens, social trust has plummeted. This weakening of social cognition fosters paranoia and fear of “the other”—a key driver of far-right ideologies. Lubrano explains how authoritarian politics feed off our psychological vulnerabilities, thriving in a vacuum of real human contact.

The Myth of the Rational Individual

The book also tackles the deeply embedded Western notion of the “rational individual”—a concept stemming from what cultural theorists call WEIRD psychology (Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich, and Democratic). In such cultures, people tend to see themselves as fixed in identity and beliefs, making ideological shifts psychologically threatening. Non-WEIRD societies, on the other hand, tend to see people as flexible and interdependent, which can allow for greater receptivity to shifting viewpoints.

The Real Engine of Mind Change: Social Infrastructure

If debates and fact-checking prove ineffective, what alternatives might be successful? Lubrano emphasises the importance of “social infrastructure”—environments that facilitate casual, regular interaction between diverse people. Examples include parks, pubs, waiting areas outside schools, and public transport. These places serve as low-stakes arenas where people can witness others’ experiences, fostering empathy and weakening stereotypes.

Dr. Lubrano draws from social contact theory, which shows that repeated interaction with different social groups, under conditions of perceived equality and shared goals, reduces prejudice and encourages perspective shifts. Her recommendations for public policy are clear: governments should invest in these kinds of inclusive social environments if they hope to combat polarization.

Practical Takeaways and Moral Urgency

Throughout the book, Lubrano encourages readers not to give up on political engagement, but to reframe it. Don’t aim to “win” arguments—aim to listen, understand, and build long-term relationships that might eventually change someone’s mind. Politics, she argues, is not just about policies—it’s about people and the social environments that shape their moral intuitions.

Lubrano’s personal story as the granddaughter of a Holocaust survivor lends moral gravity to her writing. For her, this is not just academic—it’s about preventing history from repeating itself. When people become socially isolated and intellectually rigid, authoritarianism finds fertile ground.

Strengths of the Book

• Interdisciplinary Depth: Seamlessly weaves together neuroscience, psychology, sociology, and political science.
• Relevance: Tackles the most urgent issues of our time—rising authoritarianism, misinformation, and cultural polarization.
• Accessibility: Despite its academic grounding, the prose is readable, with relatable anecdotes and well-structured arguments.
• Policy Relevance: Offers concrete suggestions for improving democratic resilience, not just critique.

Points for Further Discussion

While Lubrano acknowledges cultural differences in psychological frameworks, the book focuses heavily on Western contexts. It would be enriching to see more detailed case studies or insights from Global South democracies, where different social fabrics yield unique political dynamics.

A Manual for Changing Minds (Without Talking Politics)

Don’t Talk About Politics is both a diagnosis and a manual—a roadmap for understanding why our political conversations are failing and how we might redirect them. By showing that political persuasion is less about facts and more about context, community, and connection, Dr. Sarah Stein Lubrano provides a much-needed recalibration for anyone invested in the future of democracy.

Whether you’re a political organizer, educator, policymaker, or simply a citizen trying to navigate difficult conversations, this book is a must-read for understanding the psychology of the 21st-century mind—and for learning how to change it.

Who is Dr. Sarah Stein Lubrano?

Dr. Sarah Stein Lubrano is a writer and researcher whose work explores the intersections of social and political life with psychology. She is releasing a book with a major publisher in spring of 2025. Dr. Lubrano founded the Sense and Solidarity Initiative, a platform for collective learning and capacity-building. She serves as Head of Research at the Future Narratives Lab, focusing on narratives about social and political change, she is also Head of Content for the Ahead app. Previously, she was Head of Content at The School of Life in London, contributing to its early YouTube content. Dr. Lubrano holds a DPhil in Political Theory from Oxford University, an MPhil from Cambridge University, and a bachelor’s degree from Harvard College. Her interests include critical theory, social infrastructure, interdependent reasoning, and the future of the public sphere. She has also worked on projects related to legal education and public history.