"Even when done in partnerships, auto-eroticism generates imaginations and can heighten feelings with your partner." The following is an interview with a well-known psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and sexologist Marco Rossi.
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| Female Masturbation |
Female masturbation has been seen as a wicked and sinful habit for generations. Even now, it is still considered a taboo issue. It is even reviled in many nations and cultures. However, it is a normal and healthy component of sexuality for both men and women, and it may provide several mental and physical advantages. We spoke with Marco Rossi, a well-known psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and sexologist specializing in depressive and anxiety disorders, relational and sexual disorders, and president of the Italian Culture of Sexology and Sexual Education, about female auto-eroticism in current society.
Marco, while self-eroticism has always been considered a normal conduct in males, it remains a taboo in women and is regarded improper. Many people do it yet are unable to openly discuss it. Why?
"It is purely a cultural and conceptual issue." We still live in a male-dominated culture, which is not only recent, but has characterized the whole planet throughout history. Female sexuality has traditionally been viewed from a male perspective, and so as passive. If the woman has a passive sexuality, it is not suitable for her to do an active gesture, such as masturbating. Providing pleasure for a woman is regarded a sin if it is not procured by the guy."
However, in comparison to the past, women's status has evolved, and her function is no longer limited to that of a wife and mother. Could this type of freedom extend to the female sexual sphere?
"It's actually a forgery. Women have not yet attained parity, as evidenced by the presence of women's quotas and the fact that women's incomes continue to be lower than men's. Pink quotas, or similar mechanisms, are simply a means of deluding women into believing that gender equality has been reached, while in fact it is the male who retains power, with the woman receiving merely quotas of it. It's a form of enigmatism. And this macho culture persists even in new generations: consider today's females who claim to be free to express themselves, to express their image, and then upload naked images on OnlyFans. "This action just contributes to the macho society."
But, if that's the case, will gender equality ever be realized?
"It is an illusion of freedom, among other things, since it is poorly handled on a political level, just as it was an illusion that the green pass would set us all free." It's all a game to make things seem one way while keeping some stakes tight and visible. In Sanremo, Drusilla Foer gave a beautiful speech on the subject: "It's pointless to talk about diversity," you remarked, because each individual is unique. As a sexologist, I don't need to identify your sexual orientation, your mode of pleasure, or your sexual preferences. I can tell you apart from the rest because you have a name and a surname.
This is to imply that once you accept that individuals have the right to express themselves and their sexuality, you cannot categorize them (gay, lesbian, LGBT, fluid generation, etc.). You can't put what's fluid in a container if it's fluid. There is still no true freedom today; it is all a ruse."
Returning to masturbation, what are the major distinctions between male and female masturbation?
"In terms of masturbation modes, the female one is unquestionably more diverse. A woman can get lost much more easily than she can learn how to practice it. The woman can get pleasure by externally stimulating her fingers, internally stimulating her fingers, adopting certain positions such as squeezing the legs going to stimulate the clitoris, using sex toys, and masturbating by rubbing on a rolled up towel or against a pillow. "For women, the range of possibilities for masturbation is much broader than for men."
Masturbation is now recognized as a natural part of women's lives, and it can even be beneficial to their health. What are the psychological advantages for women?
"Masturbation stimulates fantasies in a significant way." Masturbation is an excellent way to stimulate and cultivate one's fantasies in a couple's sex life. Because fantasies are the foundation of sexual desire and arousal, self-eroticism is a critical way to stimulate them. Furthermore, masturbation allows us to get to know each other deeply, to learn what we like best, our fantasies, and how we experience stimulation and pleasure. The more a person gets to know another person, the better he will be able to experience sexuality when he brings it up with someone else."
So, can self-eroticism enhance sexual feelings with a partner?
"Absolutely yes".
What, on the other hand, are the physical advantages of female autoeroticism?
"Orgasm has an effect on the immune system, is good for the cardiovascular system, and helps with menstrual cramps by reducing pain." However, the prevailing utility is psychological in nature. The attainment of pleasure always determines, in fact, an activation of the neurotransmitters, dopamine, and serotonin, with extremely positive implications on the menatal sphere."
What exercises would you recommend to young women who want to better understand themselves and their sexual responses?
"More than specific exercises, I always advise young girls to learn to look at their genitals in the mirror first." Girls are less likely to do it; it does not come naturally to them because it requires some effort to do well. Because female genitals are mostly internal, they are more uncomfortable to see than male genitals. But learning to look in the mirror, to explore your vagina as if it were an anatomical table in order to understand how it is made, is fundamental to getting to know each other. Many women, including those who masturbate, are unaware of their external or internal genitals. In terms of exercises to recommend, Kegel gymnastics can be beneficial in both the masturbatory and sexual fields.
Is auto-eroticism an activity that can be done at any age?
"Most people believe that sex is a privilege of youth, and that masturbation is a kind of substitute for sex that cannot be experienced as a couple." Masturbation, on the other hand, is a game you play with your body for your own pleasure. As a result, the older one gets, the more likely it is that people prefer masturbation to having a relationship, because having a relationship is always seen as a performance act, whereas in the masturbatory field it is easier to survive the idea of play, of fun aimed at pleasure. So, especially in old age, women benefit from masturbation, which stimulates their genitals and clitoris, and this can only be beneficial from both a mental and physical standpoint.
When does masturbatory behavior begin?
"It begins at a very young age." The first behaviors resembling masturbatory behavior are already present in the newborn, who gets pleasure from rubbing the genitals. There is also a greater emphasis around the age of two, which gradually increases with growth. Obviously, when the child is very young, the gesture is not eroticized; the child does not assign an erotic value to the masturbatory act; it is simply a pleasure discovery. Masturbation is an innate human behavior that is completely natural. Young children are unaware of their sexuality; they discover that stimulating certain parts of their body gives them pleasure, even if they do not understand what it means. They become aware of it when an awareness of their own sexuality arises.
Has masturbatory behavior increased since the advent of the internet?
"In reality, the number of people masturbating has remained constant. On average, 90% of people masturbate at least once in their lives; however, this does not guarantee that everyone in this percentage does so on a regular basis. The use of visual aids to aid masturbation has changed since the advent of the internet. Murals existed in prehistoric times, followed by paintings, erotic photographs, comic books, videotapes, DVDs, and now the internet. What has changed over time is the type of support and access to images that can be stimulating for masturbatory purposes. Even if fantasies are the driving force behind everything, the video becomes merely a representation of them."
Is it appropriate to discuss masturbation with your partner?
"Yes, but I would always leave an aura of mystery, in the sense that one does not need to know how and how much the other masturbates." If anything, I always encourage couples to try to incorporate masturbation into their relationship, to give it a place in sexual intercourse, a space where I masturbate in front of you and you masturbate in front of me. Not mutual masturbation (so-called petting), but I enjoy having you participate by being close to me. It's a very intimate and beautiful act, and it could play a significant role in the couple's relationship."